dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
