We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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