Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
someone get that fucking seahorse.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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