how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
