It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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