If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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