Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
