As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
