The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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