it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You made out with two different species that night
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
