I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
