after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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