Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I have demons in me.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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