just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
