once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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