my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
