so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
