Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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