Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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