Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
