I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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