Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize