MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Sorry about my life...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
