Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
