Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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