my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
