literally had 100 drinks last night.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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