u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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