There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
