You can't special order awesome
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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