I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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