I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize