Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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