i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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