Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
