I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
