why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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