i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
