worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
