:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
