i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
