the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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