Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
