Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
honey bunches of taint.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
