How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize