So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
