rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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