oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
