So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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