I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
