I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
