She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
