dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
