also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
